hotel room ftw
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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