Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
