Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
