just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
