Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
