I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
