so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
