There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
