Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
