I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
