YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize