My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
