Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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