Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
