Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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