Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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