singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
