Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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