I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
