I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
