OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
