If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You may now shotgun with the bride
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
