plz talk dirty to me
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
