and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
