Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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