i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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