It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
