Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
