I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
