ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
