But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
