I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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