Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The best revenge is premature balding
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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