Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize