I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
