If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
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