I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
