Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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