Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
we're so committed to being not committed
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
