I CAN MOONWALK!
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
