i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
