there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm always down for nudity.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
