I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My ass is underappreciated
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
