I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize