Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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