So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
