3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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