the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
