i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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