Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
