Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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