it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize