If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
