then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
This house was built for laser tag.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
