I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
there's paper in my vomit.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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