dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
