just tell him i said nine months
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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