His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
