needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
