My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize