Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
