you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
