I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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