Have you finally orgasmed yet?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize