are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
