did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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