When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize